I can’t help but mourn the current outlook of our young girls, young ladies. Everywhere you turn there’s an ad or broadcast or song that further confirms that hope is surely evaporating fast: any hope that the majority of our babies will remain or lead pure lives. I mean, I just hit my mid-20s, and already this world is vastly different from the one in which I came of age in! At least my generation was still bombarded by REAL music, music which had a message and theme. Now, our girls are being led to believe that their sole purpose is to shake their ASSets for money and fame, to have babies for every Tom, Dick, and Harry who comes their way. No, this is not the land of our grandmothers’! The common definition of a “babymama” is a woman who has a child with a man whom she has no real relationship with, and a sexual relationship can still occur. Babymamas have a real negative connotation in society, especially in relation to African American babymamas.
The media portrays them as popular; oh yes, they are very glamorized (see Fantasia’s song for babymamas, or Lil Wayne’s constant publicity for multiple babymamas in a short time span). But it is not up to the media to raise our children–the media has gone to hell in a handbasket, therefore, we should not expect to see many positive images there for our kids to emulate. White society owns the media–and knowing even a hint of history should tell you what messages one can find there for people of color (please don’t get me started on BET, which is owned by Viacom, also owner of MTV!) These outlets are definitely marketing the babymama stereotype to the African American community. And today too many of our youth are falling into that glamorized trap, partly because there are few positive examples and images, at home and in the media, to counter this as well as other detrimental stereotypes.
This brings me to the thought: How are we to raise a lady, potential mothers of the next generation, in a society where babymamas are the norm and come a dime a dozen??
First, we must refamiliarize ourselves with the definition of a “lady”; Lord knows it’s all too easy to forget in this day and age 🙂 After we’ve done that, we must think of concrete examples of women being ladies. A real lady knows her worth; she knows that God created her from man’s side in order for her to stand by man’s side, not under his feet or in his backside shadow! She knows her role is to be his helpmate and to make the house a home. Sure, this may sound outdated–but look at your great grandmothers, was it not the formula which they used to create and keep a comfortable, drama-free living? Another very important aspect a lady understands well is that she can find help in her man, and vice versa.
The running theme today is “Miss Independent” which is fine; a lady can be independent, meaning she should know how to support herself and make ends meet. But if a lady is coupled with her helpmate she must know that God-fearing woman is not afraid to let her man lead the household, i.e., assist him, encourage him, uplift him, and support all good deeds—and trust he has the best interest of the family at heart. Lastly, a real lady must be able to spot a real man, one whom she can place all of these values in and fret not at how he will handle his duties. We have to show our children that a lady will demand to be a priority, not an option. She will expect to be his wife, not his mistress. She will set her sights on making their house a home. She will require that her children have a father, not a baby daddy. Above all she will carry herself in such a way that demands, and draws, respect!
We must make it our mission to strive to raise ladies who value themselves and their roles in societies. Societal values should not determine who and what our sons and daughters will be. Rather, we should teach them in the home, by words and examples.
Peace and Prosperity