I have quite a few things brewing in my head this week … so much that I want to write about, speak on, and debate on relentlessly (LOL)! However, as I was reading through the archives of my new favorite blog, I felt compelled to share this thought with you. I simply do not understand a woman who finds issue with a man’s relationship with his mother! How silly is that? Some of you may read this and think, “she’s crazy, no one will ever compete with or become jealous over a man’s mother.” Well, hello to you! Wake up, I have seen it too many times with associates, and especially with my brothers’ female friends.
I don’t understand why those type of women find it hard to understand that if you force a man to choose, his choice (if he has ANY sense) will always be his mother. Now, perhaps they don’t figure it as trying to make him “choose”–but no man will choose to live in a house of constant turmoil and fighting, particularly when it concerns such a stale subject as the relationship with his mother. There’s nothing wrong with a man wanting to visit and offer some assistance to his mother, after all she has done that and more for him, and probably groomed him into the man you so claim to love today.
I’ve seen young girls, and women, attempt to chastise their men for spending “too” much time with mama, being at mama’s beckoning call, or giving mama “too” much money. I always wanna scream “HEFFA SIT DOWN! KNOW YOUR ROLE.” Only a fool will allow a woman to separate him from the love of his mother. You have absolutely no reason to be jealous of his mother, that’s his mother and you are his woman: the two do not compare. The only things he should want you two to have in common should be food and compassion, honey. And you should want him to love you at least half as much as he loves her.
In fact, that should be one of the criterion for choosing a mate: HOW DO YOU TREAT YOUR MOTHER? If he doesn’t know his mother period, for reasons beyond his control, that’s okay, you can possibly still work with him. But if he says, “I don’t know, that B*@$& alive round here somewhere.” RUN!!! Okay, seriously, if you are lucky, one day you’ll have a son who you will hope will respect and remember you in similar loving ways as you age.
If any thing women who have good men, men who one can look at and obviously see that his mother must also be a good lady, should worship the mother’s ground. In the very least a cordial “thank you” should be in order. No, you don’t have to like the woman, for your own personal reasons, but you WILL, if you want to keep her son, respect her. Why wouldn’t you?
Maybe I’m just really old-fashion, or haven’t met enough mothers to even be qualified to write this blog, but I can guarantee you that if I have a problem with his mother there’s no way I will not have a problem with him. Ideally, a mother is the first woman to touch a son, the first to discover his favorite meal, the first to reprimand him for wrongdoing, the first to instill in him the importance of respecting a woman. Essentially, you cannot sincerely love that man without loving the woman who gave him those gifts and wisdom.
Join your man’s mother in being his support system; he will always need her, but he needs you, too. Now, this blog doesn’t account for over-bearing mothers, or straight mama’s boys, and I didn’t intend for it to, although I’m well aware they exist. So, don’t give me that “well, his mama is like this and that!” LOL, if you trying to push his mama completely out of the picture because she intimidates you, or you fear you will lose him to her– then YES, I’m talking directly to you: SIT DOWN, and PLAY YOUR ROLE AS HIS WOMAN, SECOND ONLY TO HIS MAMA. 🙂
Talk to me: Have y’all been in a similar situation with the one you love and your mother? What are your thoughts?
Peace & Prosperity,