“Cooking is a way to a man’s heart.” Yes, we have all heard that one, I’m sure. And you know it just may be true for some men. But I don’t think it is as true today as it was in our parents’ age. Let me explain: Today you have some young men playing the role of men. They want everything at their fingertips but they don’t want to do too much to get it.
They hold the same sentiment about their women. It seems like the women should provide everything the men need and want with no strings attached.
Back in the day courtship with an eye toward marriage was encouraged. During the courtship cooking may have been a natural part of the process (you baked him a pie then he knew you were interested, and if it was good or frequent, bam!, you just won yourself a man/husband, lol). So cooking was indeed the way to his heart.
We living in new times, y’all. And I have decided that my cooking is just like my love, I’m not giving too much too soon! I can throw down in the kitchen (what? this is no time to be modest:). From here onward, I’m aligning the idea of cooking with the old saying “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
It may be a stretch. But I feel like cooking increases a certain kind of man’s chances of becoming complacent. Not all men fall into this category, not at all. However, today there’s a surplus breed of grown “boys” playing men roles and only out for what they can get for as long as they can get it. They are everywhere and in many disguises. And it’s not entirely their faults: it’s TV, radio, home lifestyle, school lifestyle, AND … you may not want to hear it ladies, but yes, US! Women, we are the worst type of enablers.
Hence, “what she won’t another one will”; well back in the day those that “did” were looked on with side eyes and you definitely couldn’t bring them home to Mama’s table :).
So, my part in the enabling is coming to a halt. I will cook random, here and there meals or a dish if the spirit moves me. But I have to change my attitude of “it’s my duty to provide him some nourishment”; if he is not MY MAN, that most certainly is not my duty. If he has an opening for that role in his life then we need to take the necessary steps in order for me to fulfill it (cue Beyonce’s “Put A Ring On It”, or at least a title, lol).
Oh yea, this message was endorsed by MY MAMA! (Mama G said, “Yes, Ma’am just like getting the cow for free. (chuckle)” Well, there you have it, folks. You be your own judge, my fate has been decided.
Blessing, Growth, and Prosperity.